Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
