another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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