is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
