how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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