i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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