the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize