The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
