I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
