he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
