I'm really into asian looking animals
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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