There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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