Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
