dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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