just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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