It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
