Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
