It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
