I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
