hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
