Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
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bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
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I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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