the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
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Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
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There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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