Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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