he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
