I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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