I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
