Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
