He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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