We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
