she looked like the before picture.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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