omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
