i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
