Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
