my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
