we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
