I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
