I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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