Nicole vs. Life
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
