you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
