If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
