Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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