I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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