I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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