I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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