We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
