theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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