Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
