sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
