If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
well you can't waste a boner
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
