So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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