Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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