that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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