Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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