sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
