So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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