They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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