Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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