fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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