I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
