I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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