my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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