can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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