is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
